So today the very first big storm struck over our usually sunny island, confining me indoors for most of the day. But I guess it’s not so bad, sometimes a lazy day at home is just what one needs to get in touch with one’s senses.

And I’m thinking back at what this summer meant to me. It’s funny how sometimes certain seasons have a unique significance to them.

This summer brought:

1) my driver’s licence: my goodness, that was a milestone and a half. Honestly, in my heart of hearts I thought I would never get it. I had been taking lessons, I changed teachers three times. It seemed like a distant dream. Also, the fact that I’m a major day dreamer mostly certainly did not help. I used to waste so much valuable time on public transport, often taking two hours to get to a fifteen minute drive destination.
However one thing I have definitely noticed: there are A LOT of angry people out there. A LOT. It surprised me a little. Really, does taking two extra seconds when the light goes green warrant horn honking, the finger and expletives? There are many more issues that are worthy of anger and strife: the Ebola virus, war, hunger, homeless children. But me stopping at a stop sign seems to be right up there on the list of severe anger-inducing scenarios.

2) self realisation: I am thirty. No more fooling around. I have goals. By the time I’m forty they have to be reached. I do not want to be one of those people with Peter Pan syndrome: never growing up. It doesn’t mean that I will not have fun anymore. But it’s a different kind of fun. A more sophisticated kind of fun: dinner parties, theatre shows, cocktails without getting plastered.

3) my career: I have been a year in my new and more senior position. That has been quite the roller-coaster ride. And I have learned so much about myself and other people. I never realised that I could be a leader, but I can. And it is possible to lead without being nasty or bossy or unfair.
However, with great power comes even greater responsibility. And that is really and truly exhausting. Sometimes it gets too much. And I often have to wear a mask, and be professional when I will actually really like to drop-kick certain people, or swear or dish out long bottled-up insults. And I think that’s what is really tiring: the constant veiling of true emotions and the constant confrontation with illness, frustration, anger and rudeness from patients, relatives and colleagues sometimes too.

So my summer was relatively ok, but I’m really happy winter is coming. Winter always gives me a new lease on life. Yet even though I prefer winter, it is still so imperative to embrace the fact that everything must be. The good, the bad, the hilarious and the confusing.

20141005-200413.jpg

So come on in winter, I await thee with anticipation.

Advertisements