So I have been at my new job for a while now and it is incredibly challenging. But the staff are wonderful and super dedicated to their patients and to each other. They are a really lovely bunch.

However, at first I did have my misgivings. Change in both ward and position is really tough as you are expected to lead and take decisions when you do not exactly know the dynamics and the people in that place. For example, I did not know one of my team was a diabetic and we were very busy and I did not send her for her break on time. She got a little pale and sweaty and looked really unhappy and worried. Later on in the lunchroom I heard the other nurses talking about her condition, but I had no idea. Now I know to always make sure she gets her break on time.

Different ways one feels when getting promoted/new job:

– I am a total incompetent, how the hell was I promoted.
– why the hell am I doing this to myself?
– I was just fine being a part of the herd, why in the world would I want to lead?
– can I run a mile in the opposite direction?
– oh my God is absolutely everything my problem?
– if I ask another question, everyone is going to think I’m dumb.
– I must be dumb.

I thought accepting this promotion at first was a HUGE mistake. However, now two weeks down the line I am starting to feel better and I may go as far to say that I am actually coming into my own.

It’s a little like quinoa, which is a super food and I love it: when in its raw state, it looks dirty, unenticing, strange and off-putting. But when rinsed, prepared and cooked patiently and seasoned to one’s own desires it tastes fantastic and unique and most importantly of all: it’s good for you.

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Til next time, y’all.

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