I have a friend who gets nervous about her better half being in the kitchen, and since she will be having a party for her birthday, I decided to help her out a bit and make some sausage rolls.

I have never made sausage rolls in my life so today I had a little practice round. This is what I did:

1) I squeezed out the sausage meat from their plastic coating. This feels a little disgusting, especially the pile of meaty-plastic casing left behind. I am also pretty certain that if any male were watching me, he would grab his crotch and feel emasculated. I whizzed 2 slices of white bread in the food processor to make bread crumbs and dumped them on the meat. I then added some sage and I carmelized some onions and added them too.

2) I made and rolled out some puffed pastry into a kind of oblong shape, then spooned on the sausage mix in a kind of long cylinder shape, a little off to one side of the rolled out pastry. I then brushed the edges with egg and folded the pastry over and then coated the whole thing with egg until it looked like a long squishy worm. I then cut the worm into many segments and put them in the oven for 25 mins, 200 fan assisted.

I am very happy with the result and I think they will go down a treat 🙂

Today another friend wrote on facebook how she made a fantastic meal for her mum’s birthday, pappardelle with butter and sage and a dessert of poached pears…and here I am, ecstatic about sausage rolls. I feel a bit of a yob, really.

Ah well. I’m a happy yob. Sausage rolls, everyone: